I’ve been in the final stages of setting up and cleaning my new home office the last two days. There’s only about half an hour of cleaning to do at this point, so I’m sitting down to write. It’s my preferred option for task-avoidance.
Will, my best friend and podcast partner, made a salient point last week that’s been bouncing around my head since we stopped recording. He mentioned that he doesn’t set a New Year’s resolution because he’s constantly striving to better himself. It felt arbitrary to set a goal and work on it when he’s doing his best to improve every day. Comments like that are why we’re
The conversations we’ve had over the years were more significant that those I had with other people in my life. He’s challenged my positions and views like few others, and he helped me become a more open-minded person. My second workiversary is coming up this week, and it seems like a fine marker to use in judging myself.
Since my last anniversary at work, I’ve done a lot and I’m not sure I can even begin to write it all out. Let’s do a CliffsNotes version of the last year!
- I moved out and lived in my own apartment. It felt like the only way to express how seriously I needed things to change and improve between me and Dorena. I also wanted to take some time to just focus on myself and have independence and solitude.
- Dorena and I did a lot of work on our relationship. We have been together for half of our lives, and we never truly grew up and adapted as we aged. We were stagnant and didn’t know what we needed to move forward. We had to first find out what we wanted, and then we had to learn how to communicate that with each other. It took months of trial and error to find our voices and the best ways to speak with each other.
- I moved back in with Dorena. It felt right to do so, and it’s us again, working toward common goals while supporting each other.
- Personally I’ve made strides tackling my flaws. I regained my confidence, and my ability to be direct and pointed with my communication. I’ve learned how to convey my feelings more clearly than ever before in my life. I’m taking steps toward improving the important relationships that I value. I’m learning to let go of some of my OCD habits, and to wrangle my untoward expectations. I’m finally starting to accept when I’ve done well instead of pushing for “perfection.” (He says as he incessantly rewrites these paragraphs to make them sound better.)
- Professionally I’ve become a stronger leader. I’ve always been a “take charge” person, but this year it’s really clicked how to express my vision and to get people on board with me. I’ve become an effective leader of a team with vested interest, rather than just being a charismatic guy that people latched onto.
- I’m being creative again. Along with starting a podcast with Will, I’ve been drawing again, and I love it. My cartoons are starting to feel decent again. Something I haven’t been able to say about my drawings since high school. It feels great!
The most important thing to note is that I haven’t felt a tinge of depression at all over the last year. Even through some tough times I felt resolved and determined instead of hopeless and defeated.
Before my conversation with Will about resolutions, my only goal for this year was to focus on more than just mindless internet browsing for my personal entertainment. I wanted to get more out of my one to two hours a day of relaxation, and I’m off to a good start. Don’t get me wrong, I do see the value in the mindless refreshing of social media. I’m not trying to judge and discourage others from using that to veg out, but being a web designer I spent so much time online that I’m a little burnt out on the whole social media thing.
I’ll be varying my experiences in my free time to get a little more fulfillment out of my activities. I’m hoping they’ll be more memorable when it’s said and done than hitting
F5 on my Reddit dashboard was. We’ll see. I’ll check in again after I finish establishing my new approach.