Introducing the Kung fu knife!

I never pay attention to commercials, but every once in a while I’ll hear something that makes me look up and focus on the ad.

Last night, during my weekly Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on ION, I heard Ming Tsai’s voice, and as a long-time fan of his, I had to see what he was up to. He was advocating an incredibly cheap-looking knife, and I’ve decided to have some fun with it.


Aero Knife Commercial on YouTube

Here are my favorite parts of the commercial:

  • The knife cuts like a razor (or, you know, like a knife)!
  • The knife has holes, so that’s 60% less surface area for friction!
  • Cut the cheese jokes are amazing!
  • In a clip where extensive force is exerted on the blade, the claim of no force required is thrown out there!
  • Knife ads always have a scene where they “cut” something not food-like and this one is no different. This block of wood has been shaved down with a piece of sandpaper, and the knife is slapped against it to knock the shavings loose. Notice how the blade is perpendicular to the wood? Isn’t it cool that it still halves the softest fucking fruit on Earth after tapping dust off a piece of wood?! Amazing!

I’m usually not one to buy things advertised this way, but do you hear that awesome noise it makes every time Ming moves it around? It’s like he’s in a goddamned Kung fu movie, and I desperately need a knife in my kitchen that does that.

I also really need a tool to cut wood and tomatoes, so that’s just an added bonus.

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Keith

I am Keith J. Frank, an overweight, acerbic, narcissistic, and sometimes lovable asshole that was born in June of 1983.

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