I’m not going back to school.

So I was emailing derryX about some dinner plans, and since I’m a season-ticket holder for the Tri-City ValleyCats, my initial instinct was just to link him to the schedule so he had an aggregate view of my unavailability over the next three months.

This glorious ad was in the sidebar of the page, and I had to share it. In the live version (this is just a screencap), the arms flail and the red light blinks incessantly.

To answer the question posed in the ad: No, I wouldn’t go back to school if I wind up looking like a fucking mook like this asshole. Oh, and look at those 66-75 and Over 75 options. See how bad our economy is? Even retirees need to go back and get degrees so they can get those low-level jobs bagging groceries and greeting people. Ridiculous.

I suppose the motives behind advertisements are to steal your attention, and over the last decade my mind has grown blind to them. My expertly trained eyes automatically dart around them when I view web pages, and I was shocked that my head was drawing attention to this one. I had to do a full double take to make sure my eyes were being pulled to an ad. I’m sort of glad my subconscious knew there was going to be a blog post about it, and woke me up to it before I closed the tab.

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I am Keith J. Frank, an overweight, acerbic, narcissistic, and sometimes lovable asshole that was born in June of 1983.

7 thoughts on “I’m not going back to school.”

  1. That’s an affiliate ad. Not run by any school at all, and the grant offer is either a “grant starter pack” that will “teach you” how to get all the grants you need to go back to school, or a horrible loan.
    However, the ad isn’t even run by the company itself. The affiliate makes about $3.00-5.00 per person they get to sign up through the ad. The general affiliate process is to test 1,000s of different ad combinations, from the obvious to the crazy to find one that gets clicks. This ad was apparently this guys test or winner. Hopefully not his winner, cuz if it was, it means that out of 1,000s of ads he tested, this one got the most clicks…I don’t even wanna know what that says about our species…

    1. Like I said in my post, it definitely caught my attention, and it was the first ad in a very long time to do so.

      Maybe it was the winner because people couldn’t believe what they were seeing and had to check it out. Absolutely bizarre either way.

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