I Love Fallen Celebrity Commercials

I hesitate to call Biz Markie a celebrity –since he only had one ‘hit’ song  twenty-three years ago  (though he gets bonus points for having a prototypical 80’s video with bad lip-syncing) — but his commercials are a perfect example of what I like to call a Fallen Celebrity Commercials.

First, watch the commercial, then we’ll break it down.

Awful, right?  Here’s the elements I look for when when classifying this genre of commercial:

  1. A product that only has a niche target audience — Check. I don’t know who needs this service, but anyone that stupid deserves to pay for this.
  2. A “celebrity” with decent name-recognition — Check. If you don’t know his name, you’ll know his song at the end.
  3. Low-budget commercial with a ridiculous premise and terrible production values (often exhibits poorly re-dubbed segments) — CheckLooks like something a high school media department would whip up in an afternoon.
  4. A retooled catch-phrase for which the person is best known — Check. The only line, of the only song he’s known for, lyric changed to name-drop the service.

We’ve definitely got a Fallen Celebrity Commercial on our hands! It also appears that he’s stoned out of his damn mind, so who knows how may times they had to re-record this 30 second spot. He can’t be making more than 10 grand for this, can he?

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I am Keith J. Frank, an overweight, acerbic, narcissistic, and sometimes lovable asshole that was born in June of 1983.

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