Breaking news: Moron doesn’t understand my sarcasm.

I have no problem identifying as a progressive liberal, and I greatly enjoy following the crazy things people on the opposite political spectrum spew. When McCain/Palin were running in 2008, I had a great time digesting her nutty comments. Once she faded from relevance, I picked up on Michelle Bachmann.

Her twitter feed is a glorious example of inanity, and recently she said the following:

The gist of her gripe is that those pure Christian children won’t be able to call homosexual classmates “faggots” any longer. She and her idiotic gay-conversion-therapy-husband of hers need to preserve those ideals and values!

I sarcastically replied with, “The values of bullying need to be preserved! Preach on, sister!” I thought it was funny, and there’s some favorites and retweets to back me up on it. This one guy, though. He had to put me in my place!

Okay, pal. Might want to tone that down a bit. Even if — for some outlandish reason I can’t begin to contemplate — I was supporting bullying and affirming it as a value worth honoring, is telling me to commit suicide an appropriate response? I’m pretty sure telling me to kill myself is bullying, so in your effort to convince me that bullying is wrong, you bullied the shit out of me. Really good job spreading your wisdom, bud. Appropriate that your last name is Jakov, because you seriously are a jack-off.

Oh, and I’m curious on the data backing up the claim of school shootings by disenfranchised homosexual children. My understanding is that they’re more likely to become secluded introverts and cause harm to themselves than others. Then again, I’m not going around telling people to kill themselves all willy-nilly when I misinterpret their sarcasm. Guess I shouldn’t be looking for knowledge-based claims from you.

In other recent Bachmann news, she compared the ACA to Snapchat.

The idea of Snapchat is that you send a picture or video for a predeterminate length of time, then it gets deleted, never to be seen again. In actuality, the files are stored on the device and server for much longer, and can even be reclaimed! So yeah, the ACA is like Snapchat, in that you want it to be a flash in the pan, but it’ll linger on much longer. Great analogy!

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I am Keith J. Frank, an overweight, acerbic, narcissistic, and sometimes lovable asshole that was born in June of 1983.

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