Give a Kid the Ball

If you’re ever at a ballgame and you happen to snag a foul ball, give it to the closest little kid you can find. You’ll absolutely make his day, and create a fan for life.

Maybe I’m sympathetic to this, because my first (and only) ball was tossed to my father as he was carrying me out of the park. I was crying after not getting one during the game, and a player –I believe it was Hensley Meulens— tossed us a ball.

25 years later, I’m still a devoted fan and I relish the thought of making some kid as happy as I was that night.

The reason for this story? A foul ball in Texas last night was tossed into the stands. An older couple snagged it and were completely oblivious to the fact that there was a crying toddler next to them.

Look how they taunt him! Heartless!

All’s well that ends well, though. Someone in the Rangers dugout saw what was going on and sent a ball over during the changeover at the end of the half. Just look how happy they made that little guy, and look at the glare the broad shoots him, like she’s annoyed he got a ball. Assholes.

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I am Keith J. Frank, an overweight, acerbic, narcissistic, and sometimes lovable asshole that was born in June of 1983.

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