The hose on the kitchen sink stopped working, so I figured I’d pop under the sink and turn off the water, then have a look at what was going on with the hose.
First thing I noticed was a ton of shit in the way. Some from us, most of it from before we were alive. Case in point: this glass bottle of Windex from 1973 that predates us by a full decade.
The bottle reads (from top to bottom):
Dozens of Uses!
20 FL. OZ. (1 PT, 4 OZ)
©1973 The Drackett Products Co., Cincinnati, Ohio 45232 · Distributor · Made in U.S.A.
Also below the sink was a modern version of the bottle, dated 2010. Pretty neat juxtaposition!
By the way, there are no shutoffs for the water under the sink. To turn the water off, I needed to turn off the cold from the main entry point into the house, and stop the hot water from the main feed leaving the hot water tank. Yay, another quirky thing about this piece of shit house we live in!
To be fair, if the sink was leaking profusely, it might be quicker to run downstairs and turn those off rather than contending with the junk stowed away in the cabinet…
I never pay attention to commercials, but every once in a while I’ll hear something that makes me look up and focus on the ad.
Last night, during my weekly Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on ION, I heard Ming Tsai’s voice, and as a long-time fan of his, I had to see what he was up to. He was advocating an incredibly cheap-looking knife, and I’ve decided to have some fun with it.
- Aero Knife Commercial on YouTube
Here are my favorite parts of the commercial:
- The knife cuts like a razor (or, you know, like a knife)!
- The knife has holes, so that’s 60% less surface area for friction!
- Cut the cheese jokes are amazing!
- In a clip where extensive force is exerted on the blade, the claim of no force required is thrown out there!
- Knife ads always have a scene where they “cut” something not food-like and this one is no different. This block of wood has been shaved down with a piece of sandpaper, and the knife is slapped against it to knock the shavings loose. Notice how the blade is perpendicular to the wood? Isn’t it cool that it still halves the softest fucking fruit on Earth after tapping dust off a piece of wood?! Amazing!
I’m usually not one to buy things advertised this way, but do you hear that awesome noise it makes every time Ming moves it around? It’s like he’s in a goddamned Kung fu movie, and I desperately need a knife in my kitchen that does that.
I also really need a tool to cut wood and tomatoes, so that’s just an added bonus.
Can you imagine the person pitching this show to a network? Can you imagine a network picking it up and airing it? Can you imagine anyone sitting there and watching it? Does anything about this synopsis, title of show, or name of the episode scream “comedy” to you?
If if does, we probably shouldn’t be friends.
Now, I’m not saying he should have fucked Paula Broadwell…
…but I understand.
So apparently while Carrie Fisher was touring for some stupid thing that no one cares about, she admitted to doing coke while on the set of Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back.
Explains the funny nail, right?
Anyway, that’s not the only thing I learned. I also found out that John Belushi told Carrie Fisher that she had a drug problem.
Fisher said John Belushi – who died of a drug overdose in 1982 – once told her she had a problem. “Slowly I realised I was doing a bit more drugs than other people and losing my choice in the matter,” she said. “If I’d been addicted to booze I’d be dead now, because you just go out and get it.”
John Belushi told Carrie to slow down on drugs. This is akin to David Carradine warning someone about not getting out of hand with sexual fetishes. How bizarre this world can be.